Go f*** yourself she yelled!
There were tears and chairs all over the place. The picture of her and me with cracked glass.
How the… How could you!? A face full of expressions and a face full of nothing.
Nothing… Nothing, a whole lot of nothing. Just like the feelings that are left in this.
BANG! Another pan… BANG! Another feeling left the heart. BANG!
It kept on going, like the shoots in a pistol. Bang! Bang! Bang! And … BANG! There was something different in this last one...
Something just… Something, now no longer nothing.
A face full of tears and a face full of nothing with something.
I would sit down and tell her how I could. But I couldn’t sit anywhere; she had broken all the chairs.
And there was blood on the sofa, because she had cut herself on some glass, but I didn’t want to get blood on my pants.
Actually her face was cute right now the blood on her face and eyes blue-green. Now I remembered why I kissed her yesterday, and why she is so mad. Because she looked like her sister.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Crazy.. Thing
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lots of action thats nice, and nice sentence to start with :)
ReplyDeleteI like the way you contrast and repeat central aspects in this text, e.g. something with nothing.
ReplyDeleteIt makes the reader reflect on it and makes us "active". Also a nice touch to round off the text with something you have not commented on before - the reason for the heated argument/fight, and it has an element of surprise to it. A few mistakes as to language, but the story has a nice flow to it :-)